+ 5-Minute (*No-Spoiler) Mini Movie Reviews + by R.J. Cavender 04/07/2010 +
Dolan’s Cadillac (2009)
I don’t remember many of the details about the Stephen King short story that this was based upon, but I did find myself wishing I had a copy of “Nightmares and Dreamscapes” to compare differences while watching this film. As revenge films go, this one is slow…but the way the story unfolds works really well with the pacing and I found myself becoming increasingly anxious as the events unfolded. A very involving spider-and-fly entanglement ensues during the third act that I found to be really effective, and well worth it to any viewer that sticks out some of the downtime. And even though I felt this movie might have been a bit miscast, I enjoyed the performances by both the leads. And while I usually find myself unsatisfied with endings in Stephen King adaptations, this one worked quite well given the tone of the entire film. Certainly the best thing I watch all week!
4 SKULLS
Antichrist (2009)
I’ve waited a week before writing this review, just to let this film settle a little and see how I felt about it upon reflection. I’m not even sure what I watched, really.
The film centers upon a grieving couple who lost an infant son, and their struggle to deal with their personal guilt and anguish. There’s a lot more to it than that, but I’m not much on giving a lengthy synopsis and in this case it wouldn’t really help much. It’s basically a two-person show full of disjointedly symbolic dialogue and imagery that gets pretty dark.
I’ve watched a few scenes over again, trying to piece it all together. It’s either a very complex film…or it all means nothing at all. I’m not sure which honestly, but from having watched a few of the directors other films, I’m guessing there is a point to it all.
The first 15 minutes are pretty inspired. Black and white and slow-motion, and is actually pretty damn impressive. I think the director should have just stopped there, called it a short film, and sent it around to the festivals.I’m not sure if this film is high art posing as horror, or horror posing as high art? Or just pretentious crap…that was filmed really well? Is sure doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. And, honestly…it’s not a pleasant film to watch on any imaginable level. The cinematography is excellent, as is the acting…but this film just left me cold and pretty much indifferent to the characters plight. But, overall…I guess it was worth the experience. At least it was for me, as a reviewer. Can’t really say I can recommend it to many people, though. It’s just an unrelenting film, full of messy ideas and overblown symbolism. And a lot of Willem Dafoe ass.
3 SKULLS
Penance (2009)
Yay. Two films with genital mutilation this week. I’m really not even going to give this film a full review. It doesn’t deserve it. I can simply say that if you want to see a movie with a lot of jerky shot-on-video scenes and at least a half-dozen holes in the plot, then “Penance” is the film for you. Oh, and fat nurses and a lispy Nazi. And a good deal of dialogue that seemed like it was improvised. Oh…and did I mention the genital mutilation?
2 SKULLS
Survival of the Dead (2010)
Oh geez. I’m clearly at a loss for words. Putting all admiration for George Romero and his “…of the Dead” series aside, this film is just an unfortunate mess. Hell, I felt uncomfortable watching it. The last time I felt so completely dumbfounded watching a film was when I went to see “House of the Dead” in the theaters. I didn’t know whether to try to get a few laughs at the films expense, or simply walk out…and “Survival of the Dead” just left me feeling exactly the same way. In a word: CHEATED. I tried to stay with this film as long as I could, and I really was rooting for it and hoping it would get better. But, it just never did. I waited a few days to write this review, and now thinking back on it…I barely even remember any of the characters at all. Or any of the zombie kills. I mean…damn…people are still quoting and referencing “Night of the Living Dead” after 40 years, but I can’t even remember a single stand-out scene from a film I watched less than a week ago. It’s not me…it’s the film. In fact, watching this left me feeling zombified myself. It’s just not a very good film at all.
2 SKULLS
CUT (2010)
Touted as ‘The World’s First Single Continuous Shot Horror/Thriller Feature Film’
…this claim leads me to ask one simple question “WHY”? I mean, was there a great need to have a horror film shot like the steady-cam kitchen scene from “Goodfellas”? I don’t ever recall thinking that would be great to see in a film of any sort. Ok…sure, “Russian Arc” pulled it off and was brilliant. But, this isn’t a tour of a world famous museum filled with centuries of priceless artifacts. No…this film instead treats us to one solid uncut shot that snakes through a tacky weekend rental cabin. It’s just a pointless screen test that runs 88 minutes too long. I think we’ve proved already with “Paranormal Activity” that just because you CAN do something unconventional and on the cheap doesn’t mean you HAVE to do it. It doesn’t mean it’ll work or be a great film, just because it ‘seemed like a good idea at the time’. Like I said before, I could shoot an entire film using my mobile phone. But, that doesn’t mean it’s worth watching. If some gimmick benefits the film and is a stroke of inspired genius, then it will become infamous for being innovative. If it was a good idea that went bad, then your film will end up in the bargain DVD bins. See you in the bargain bins!
